Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in splintered666's LiveJournal:

Saturday, December 30th, 2006
3:38 pm	things are looking up. i dont think about her near as much ( ok so i am now and that led me to write this). anyway, i dont think about her near as much and when i do i dont bust out in tears. all i can think about is us fighting pretty much. sometimes i think about what she felt like laying in my arms and how i never wanted to let her go once we layed down... but its not hurting me as much, cuz right after that i think of all the fights. the only times i was ever really happy with her was when i was holding her and nothing was happenin. last night she told me "i reallly do not miss you" and it didnt hurt me. i was suprised as hell cuz normally that woulda killed me. but i didnt care realy. i think im making rea progress when it comes to getting over her. lets only hope. i dont think i can honestly say that im in love with her anymore. awesome.
Monday, December 25th, 2006
11:19 am	shes tearing me apart. i know she doesnt mean to do it and i know that even if she did i deserve it. but really i wish i wer dead. one minte shes nice and everything seems to be ok, like we can be friends, then all the sudden she changes her tone, gets mean, makes me cry like a little bitch, then gets nice again. as soon as i stop cryin the mean comes out again. i dont know what to do i just know that i cant live without her friendship at least. she is the ONLY person i give a fuck about. seriously, i wish i had the balls to kill myself right now. but not only could i not go through with it cuz im a pussy, i know that id hurt a few other people that i dont want to. she is the only thing on my mind at all times. all my dreams involve her and all daily thoughts include her. but i guess i gotta just keep tryin to not show how i feel. good luck, eh? all i want to do is see her. thats it. it kills m not to be able to hold her and tell her how i feel, but i can deal with that. i just cant handle her bein outta my life. whats worse is shes hangin out with the people i hang out with, and they start shit between us. so i dont have her or other friends. its just me and my crying. if i lived alone id be dead by now, and its almost a happy thought for me. in death you cant think about what hurts... at least i think so, ive never died or anything. what i wouldnt give to try that out right now.
8:05 am	"merry" christmas 2nd year in a row im alone on xmas. the person im in love with doesnt feel the same about me anymore and i can only blame myself. i woke up squeezing my pillow then realized it wasnt her and broke down crying. i dont want nybody to say merry xmas this year because it sure as hell wont be. maybe candace was right... i cant handle seein her or talking to her and we should stop. i dont want to. id never want to. if it were only a little colder id freeze these tears and choke myself with them merry fuckin christmas Current Mood: overjoyed (pff)
Thursday, March 4th, 2004
3:16 pm	this is a journal i will not use. wanna read whats up with my life go to www.deadjournal.com/~splintered666